I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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