the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
