69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
