she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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