its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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