dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
