I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
