I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
