Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize