tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
