A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
