Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
