Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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