Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
