My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
