You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
