Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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