I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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