i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
this hospital has no fireball
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
