2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you would pick up someone in the library
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
