1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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