The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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