apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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