from now on my penis is your penis
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
this is an emotional support booty call
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
