Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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