I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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