I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
