I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
