So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow