it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.