one might say we're banned from that church
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
