My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
