There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
