Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
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I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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