Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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