TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
