Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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