Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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