what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
