even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
