Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
