i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
