guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
