I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am mentally ready for anal.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
