I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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