I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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