Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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