Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
