I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Drunk is not a location!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
