I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
