I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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