I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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