the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So much rum. So many feels.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
