I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
