Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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