Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
