I puked a lego.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
