he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
