I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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