Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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