you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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