How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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