I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
