You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm at about main and main street
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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