We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
