If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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