omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
