so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
